Posts by Incognigo Montoya

11

The Dinosaurs.

by I Faded Twice in

was anyone else taught that dinosaurs even old t rex was a vegetarian ?

i remember as a kid my parents contradicting what school taught.

they reasoned that meat eating was not allowed before the flood.

Incognigo Montoya

Not to derail the conversation, but speaking of dinosaurs, check this one out. Take a minute and look at the pictures! Incredible!!!

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/photography/proof/2017/05/nodosaur-fossil-discovery-science-photography/

11

The Dinosaurs.

by I Faded Twice in

was anyone else taught that dinosaurs even old t rex was a vegetarian ?

i remember as a kid my parents contradicting what school taught.

they reasoned that meat eating was not allowed before the flood.

As a child I was enthralled with dinosaurs. I was never discouraged by my parents, from thinking that TRex was a meat eater, as were other dinos. I do however, remember hearing and being taught by WT that prior to the flood no animals consumed meat. I remember questioning this, in regards to carnivorous Dinosaurs. My mothers very balanced reply was, we just don't know.

But we definitely do know now:

https://www.livescience.com/22809-diinosaur-gut-contents.html

14

Dysfunctamentalism

by Incognigo Montoya in

in reading through many posts over the last few months, i have started to form a viewpoint towards at least some of those witnesses/witness families, who are abusive and overzealous in their thinking.. arguably, many, if not all here, would say all pimi witnesses are overzealous in their thinking, but i sort of disagree with that.

without revealing too much about myself, my parents who are still in (father long time elder, mother regular pioneer), i consider stable and balanced in their views.

while i was shunned to a degree, after being disfellowshipped (they didn't go out to dinner or the movies with me or socialize with me publicly or very often privately, they didn't attend my wedding) they still spoke to me on the phone every few months, as i checked in on them and let them know i was doing alright (i moved out of state in my late teens).

Incognigo Montoya

In reading through many posts over the last few months, I have started to form a viewpoint towards at least some of those witnesses/witness families, who are abusive and overzealous in their thinking.

Arguably, many, if not all here, would say all pimi witnesses are overzealous in their thinking, but I sort of disagree with that. Without revealing too much about myself, my parents who are still in (father long time elder, mother regular pioneer), I consider stable and balanced in their views. While I was shunned to a degree, after being disfellowshipped (They didn't go out to dinner or the movies with me or socialize with me publicly or very often privately, they didn't attend my wedding) they still spoke to me on the phone every few months, as I checked in on them and let them know I was doing alright (I moved out of state in my late teens). I would stop in and see them once a year or so, when I was coming through. While at times there was a slight bit of tension in the air, they were always loving to me. We spoke at length about what was going on in my life and what was going on in theirs, as well as my siblings lives. They took a genuine interest in me and what I was doing in my life, secularly, and personally. Once, my father hugged me tightly and through misty eyes, told me how proud he was of me.

....anyway, getting too personal now. Point is, though I knew our relationship was strained and had boundaries. I never felt unloved, or that they wouldn't be there for me if and when I needed them. In fact I know, because they were there for me in a moment of crisis, despite my being df'd.

My family wasnt dysfunctional. I know them to be reasonable, loving, people. Now, I also know if I were to start pointing out negative things about witnesses, and their beliefs, or saying hateful things in regard to the organization, they would most likely cease communicating with me, though, once again, I still believe if my life were in crisis, they would be there for me.

My experience differs from many experiences that others have related here, and on podcasts/YouTube. I can understand, given those experiences, why some are very angry. I would be too, in their shoes. But I can't discount how much of their bad childhood was due to a dysfunctional family dynamic, that would've still been bad, had their parents not been witnesses. Don't get me wrong, the fundamentalist ideals of the JW seem to draw dysfunctional people to their ranks. But then again, so do other fundamentalist ideologies. Which is where I come up with Dysfunctamentalism.

I think there are a lot of good people who were/are drawn into, or trapped (born into) the JW cult. But It would seem that there are a number of dysfunctional individuals who've used the cults idealogies to thrive and perpetuate their already maladjusted mentality. Those born into it, or juveniles pulled into it by their parents, are then sucked into a perfect storm of dysfunction and fundamentalism, coming out the other side, damaged to whatever degree that volatile mixture bore out.

For someone like me, it was difficult to recognize that. I wasn't abused. I knew no one who was abused (though I'm aware now that I very well could have, and just never realized it). To hear these stories, they seem impossible, unbelievable. Yet, they are real. Many bad, some horrific, all inexcusable.

So then, to what degree does dysfunction play in a familys outcome, and what degree does the cult play?

8

Crisis of conscience

by Incognigo Montoya in

so i have not read it yet.

where would be the best place to get my hands on a copy?.

Incognigo Montoya

So I have not read it yet. Where would be the best place to get my hands on a copy?

13

My brother is shunning me (but he's not a Witness)

by john.prestor in

i didn't know where to post this but it's been on my mind and i'm looking for support and advice from people who know what it's like being shunned.

i was raised in a fundamentalist baptist church, so what i'm experiencing is a little different than most posters on this site.

i've been out of that church for years, and my brother's been out for a while too.

Incognigo Montoya

Let's call it, Dysfunctamentalism: an affliction of the dysfunctional who is drawn to, and overzealously adheres to, a fundamentalist ideology.

13

My brother is shunning me (but he's not a Witness)

by john.prestor in

i didn't know where to post this but it's been on my mind and i'm looking for support and advice from people who know what it's like being shunned.

i was raised in a fundamentalist baptist church, so what i'm experiencing is a little different than most posters on this site.

i've been out of that church for years, and my brother's been out for a while too.

Incognigo Montoya

To Amelia Ashtons point; There are a great many Disfunctional families in the world. Their dysfunction has nothing to do with religion, but a great many of them seem drawn to cults and fundamentalist groups. This only succeeds in magnifying the dysfunction. Crazy family is crazy family. He doesn't want you in his life? Best to count your blessings and walk away.

21

Just a Rant .......

by LOLS in

jw
friends

hi beautiful people ..... so today is my wedding anniversary ....... .

and first of all my dear husband forgot again .... which is normal according to my dear old dad "it's a man thing " .

but to add insult to injury , i must wait till friday to be taken out for dinner , because low & behold my jdub husband can't miss one bloody jw meeting !

Incognigo Montoya

I wouldn't necessarily attribute his forgetting to being a JW. He may have "forgotten" because he's a JW, and you're an UBM, and he may just have really just forgotten. Also, as tiki pointed out, many people put off a personal weekly holiday celebration (anniversary, birthday), and prefer to celebrate the occasion on a weekend, where they can relax and enjoy it without the stress and demands of a regular work day interfering. This does not keep a husband, however, from wishing his wife a "happy anniversary", giving her flowers, or doing/giving some other little affectionate token on their actual anniversary.

You didn't specify anywhere that I saw, is he a busy guy? Does he have a demanding job? Is he sometimes forgetful? Any unusual stress factors come up in his life recently? These all could be reasons he forgot.

I am not a marriage counselor, nor would I ever presume to know your complete situation, but from what you've posted I will say this. It's obvious from your recent posts that you are struggling with him. Imo, this post seems like you are looking for a reason to find fault and attribute it to his being a JW. Perhaps you should take some time and consider whether or not you still love him and want to remain his wife. If so, maybe some counseling is in order. Understand, I am not saying this is your fault whatsoever. From your previous post in reference to him and your marriage, he is the one who's made a drastic change by going back to being a JW. That's really not fair to you. Your hurt and blame are completely understandable. But it's not healthy to allow those feelings and thoughts to fester until it becomes gangrenous and causes irreparable damage.

I sincerely hope you find a way to work things out.

19

Too Many Categories That Most People Fall Into ... L G B T Q C G D ... I Get Confused

by RubaDub in

it seems like we are all getting pigeon-holed into a category that may or may not be applicable to us.

personally, i am a "d" but i am sure there are a few (though statistically insignificant) who would otherwise fall into an "o" or other category.. it just seems like society needs to label us in the l g b t q c g d communities.. rub a dub.

Incognigo Montoya

😆

Forgive me, Rub a Dub, I am new here. Lol

7

Fast food delivery service?

by The Fall Guy in

after seeing this, i think i'll just go and collect it myself!.

watch the video in the article - and imagine that it was you who was waiting for this food.. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-46522548.

Incognigo Montoya

😂 can't a hungry guy just get a bite or two?

19

Too Many Categories That Most People Fall Into ... L G B T Q C G D ... I Get Confused

by RubaDub in

it seems like we are all getting pigeon-holed into a category that may or may not be applicable to us.

personally, i am a "d" but i am sure there are a few (though statistically insignificant) who would otherwise fall into an "o" or other category.. it just seems like society needs to label us in the l g b t q c g d communities.. rub a dub.

Incognigo Montoya

Incidentally, what is a "D"?